Stephen Colbert: How Bad is the Economy?

I loved this quote from Stephen Colbert on his show The Colbert Report:

“How bad is our economy? Well, I’ll give you my two cents, which used to be a dollar.” – Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

While it’s not necessarily true that a dollar is now worth two cents, I think it’s a great joke about the US economy right now.

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Bernankruptcy

Bernankruptcy: New trading term and definition.

Bernankruptcy \Ber”nank”rupt*cy\, n.

1. The state of being actually or legally bankrupt due to Fed Chairman Ben S. Bernanke’s Fed interest rate hikes.

2. The act or process of becoming a bankrupt, due to continuous Fed interest rate increases.

3. Complete loss; — followed by of. “Bernanke’s continual Fed rate hikes destroyed my portfolio, forcing me to declare ‘Bernakruptcy’.”

Thesaurus words for “bernankruptcy”:

bouncing check, breakage, breakdown, bust, collapse, crack-up, crash, crippling, damage, defeat, destruction, detriment, dilapidation, disablement, disrepair, encroachment, failure, futility, harm, hobbling, hurt, hurting, ill success, impairment, incapacitation, infringement, injury, inroad, insolvency, insufficient funds, kited check, losing game, loss, maiming, mayhem, mischief, mutilation, no go, nonaccomplishment, nonsuccess, overdraft, overdrawn account, receivership, ruination, ruinousness, sabotage, scathe, sickening, spoiling, successlessness, unsuccess, unsuccessfulness, uselessness, weakening

Trading Humor & Jokes: Fluctuations

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. Short line. Just one guy in front of me…

The guy in front of me was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated…

He asked the teller, “Why it change? Yestoday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen ~ today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?”

The teller says, “Fluctuations.”

The Asian guy says, “Fluc you people too!”